Lily's Story
by Avery-Lou
Summary: Lily Evans is a Gryffindor. Her best friend is a Slytherin. Two of her Housemates are about the most annoying pillocks on the planet. Nevertheless, Hogwarts is Hogwarts, and the next seven years are going to be the best of her life.
1. Year One: Unfamiliar Territory

**A/N: Hello, all! And welcome to _Lily's Story_, the newest companion to my ongoing _James Potter _series. Unlike the other companions (_Moony's, Padfoot's,_ and _Wormtail's Stories_), this collection can be read more or less on its own for the time being. Eventually, you will want to have read the main story, but for now you can get by without doing so, as Lily avoids James Potter, as a rule, for the first several years of their Hogwarts career.  
**

**Takes place during/immediately after chapter 2 of _James Potter and the Immortal Icon_.**

* * *

**Unfamiliar Territory**

_ "Are you _really_ a talking hat? I mean, that song you sang, it wasn't some sort of a trick, was it? It's not like someone used a spell so it just _looked_ like you could sing when it was really someone else? And can you really read my mind? Goodness— can _all_ hats read minds in the wizarding world? Is—?"_

_ "Yes, no, no, in a sense, and no. But enough questions! I'm trying to Sort you here."_

_ "Oh, I'm sorry… Er, what exactly happens now?"_

_ "Now, Miss Evans, we find out where you belong."_

_ "Oh, alright. But, um… Mr. Sorting Hat, sir?"_

_ "You know, if you keep asking questions, you're going to be a Hatstall, and I haven't had one of those in thirty years! Let's not break that streak today, eh?"_

_ "A Hatstall? What's—? Oh, drat. I'm sorry. There I go asking questions again!"_

_ "That's not necessarily a bad thing. With that curiosity of yours, my dear, you'd do very well in Ravenclaw."_

_ "You think so? No, wait. I wanted to ask… That is, I was wondering whether you could… Well…"_

_ "Put you in Slytherin? Hm, I was afraid you were going to ask that."_

_ "So you _can_ read my mind! But… you don't mean to say that I can't be in Slytherin?"_

_ "That's precisely what I mean to say. You haven't the guile to be in that House. Haven't you heard the stories about the Slytherins?"_

_ "You mean that they're all evil little berks? That can't be true."_

_ "Can't it? Awfully loyal to your friend, aren't you…?"_

_ "It's not just about Sev, though. I mean, it's true that he's not a bad person even though he wants to be in Slytherin, but I'm sure the rest of them aren't all bad, either. That's ridiculous! _All_ of them? Just because they were Sorted into the wrong house? That's like saying… like saying…"_

_ "Like saying that all young witches and wizards are freaks, just because they can do magic?"_

_ "…Well, yes… Although you don't have to be so cruel about it."_

_ "It's all there in your head, my dear. The things your sister said to you—"_

_ "I don't want to talk about her."_

_ "And that, I'm afraid, is why you'd never make it in Slytherin. They may not all be bad, but there are those who would look down on you for being a muggle-born, as your sister looks down on you for being a witch. Muggle-born Slytherins are a rare breed, and I'm afraid they often have a rough time of it."_

_ "I… I don't care. They can call me whatever names they like."_

_ "Hm… Now there's a thought…"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Courage, Miss Evans. I see you've got quite a lot of it. Courage to be yourself, to – if I may borrow the muggle saying – to stick to your guns, never mind what others think."_

_ "…What are you saying?"_

_ "Whichever House I place you in, Miss Evans, you will face adversity. In Slytherin for your parentage; in the others for your choice in friends. If I may be frank, you are too honest and pure for Slytherin, and though your loyalty is admirable, you aspire to grander things than you would find in Hufflepuff. You have the makings of a spectacular Ravenclaw, but I don't believe Ravenclaw would truly help you achieve your highest potential."_

_ "But that only leaves…"_

_ "Yes, indeed. With a stubborn heart like yours, my decision will be of little consequence in the short run, but I've got to think about your future, as well. And believe me when I say that one day, Lily Evans, you will thank me for putting you in… GRYFFINDOR!"_

-.-.-

Gryffindor.

Lily scowled as she took a seat at her table; as the snobbish boy from the train, Sirius Black, pretended to sick up into his goblet; as Black's friend, James Potter, snickered from the front of the Hall, where he still awaited his turn under the Hat. Surely she couldn't _really_ be a Gryffindor. Not if Black and Potter were to be her housemates. They were such pillocks! Lily didn't think she would be able to stomach seven years in the same house as those two; not if they proved to be as irritating as they'd seemed on the train.

She ought to have taken Ravenclaw when the Sorting Hat suggested it.

Propping her cheek on her hand, Lily stared down at the gold place setting before her, ignoring the rest of the Sorting Ceremony.

"So, Housemates, eh?"

Lily looked up, startled, at the rosy-cheeked brunette who had, evidently, just been Sorted. The girl straddled the bench beside Lily, studying her with cheery brown eyes as Jessica Jamison joined the Hufflepuffs.

"Er," said Lily dumbly. "Yes, I… I suppose."

"Alice," the girl said, extending one calloused hand for Lily to shake. "Alice Howard… It's Lily, right?"

Smiling faintly, Lily shook Alice's hand and nodded.

"Everything alright?"

"Fine," said Lily. "I just… thought I'd be in a different House is all."

Alice gave her a sympathetic smile. "Oh? Where were you hoping to be?"

For a moment, Lily hesitated, remembering Potter's reaction on the train, when Severus had mentioned Slytherin. Would Alice be the same? Lily decided she didn't care. "Slytherin."

A slight widening of her eyes was the only sign Alice gave that this declaration had startled her. Her gaze drifted up the table to where Black sat, making faces at Potter and surreptitiously flashing rude gestures toward the Slytherin table. _Prat_, Lily thought venomously, glaring at Black, who remained oblivious of her irritation.

"Is it a family thing?" Alice asked neutrally. "You know, like with Sirius?"

"Ugh! Don't compare me to that git." Lily paused, then shook her head. "And anyway, I'm a muggleborn."

Confusion flitted across Alice's face. "Wait, so how'd you know what House you wanted?"

"Sev told me."

"Sev?"

Lily's eyes drifted up to the dwindling line of students at the front of the room. Professor McGonagall had just called for Tracy Lewis, a pretty blonde girl with a slightly vapid smile and a pair of spectacles perched on her button nose. Severus stood hunched near the far end of the line, frowning deeply and doggedly avoiding Lily's gaze.

With a pained smile, Lily turned her attention back to her cutlery. "Severus was the one who told me I was a witch," she said fondly. "He lives just down the street from me, and he saw me doing magic one day. He's told me all about Slytherin— that's where his mum was, and he said that it's the best House."

"Oh." Alice gave her an odd look. "Did he say anything about the other Houses?"

"Well, no… Not really."

"Then how do you know which House is best for you?"

Lily felt herself blushing even as she shrugged. When Alice put it like that, it sounded silly to have asked the Sorting Hat to put her in Slytherin just because that was where Severus hoped to go. She only really knew that Slytherins had "opportunities" no one else had, that Ravenclaws were considered especially smart, and that Potter and Black were idiots.

"Alright, then," Lily said cautiously as a thin, pale boy with dusty brown hair slid into the empty space across the table from her. "What _are_ all the Houses about?"

"Well, you know about Slytherin already." Alice paused to think. "Ravenclaws are all about knowledge and learning, but most of them don't like much in the way of practical application. They're perfectly happy to stick to their books and exams and what-have-you.

"Hufflepuffs," she went on, "don't go on about themselves like the rest of the Houses tend to do, so a lot of people think they're duffers, but that's not true. My mum was a Hufflepuff, you know, and she's as good a witch as you'll ever meet. Says that just because something doesn't come naturally, that's no reason to give up, and that the point of the Sorting is so that everyone finds someone they can study and practice with. Mum always says as long as you've got friends you can count on and try your hardest, you've got the makings of a good life."

A loud burst of laughter drew Lily's attention up the table to Black and Potter – now reunited and shoving each other back and forth on the bench. Lily's scowl only deepened as Potter caught sight of her and elbowed Black, who leered back at her.

Alice nudged her a moment later as Severus' name was called, and the boy shuffled forward to the stool. Lily felt her heartbeat quicken as she craned her neck to get a better glimpse of her friend, but a moment later, the Sorting Hat called out, "SLYTHERIN!" and Severus sauntered to the Slytherin table without even glancing Lily's way.

"Close call," said an irritatingly self-important voice from a few feet away. Lily turned to find Potter smirking at her. "I was starting to think he _would _be in Gryffindor."

"Stop it," Lily snapped.

James just shrugged. "What? He got what he wanted, didn't he?"

Lily scowled as a dozen retorts rose in her head. _I wish he _had _been in Gryffindor. And that _you_ had never come to Hogwarts at all!_ she thought viciously. Potter and Black had never even given Severus a chance; they'd hated him from the moment they'd realized they weren't alone in the train compartment. And so what if Lily wanted to be in the same House as her best friend? Potter and Black hadn't exactly been subtle about congratulating each other on _their_ Sortings!

Tears burned in Lily's eyes, though, and she didn't trust herself to speak. As Potter's smirk broadened, she crossed her arms and turned back to Alice, scowling, and blinked her eyes furiously. A moment later, she took a deep breath, shoved thoughts of Potter and Black aside, and plastered a smile on her face. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"What?" Alice asked, brow furrowed.

"The Houses. You hadn't told me about Gryffindor yet."

"Oh! Er…" Alice floundered for a moment, casting around for whatever it was she had been planning to say. "Right. Well," she said slowly, settling into her rhythm. "So there's Slytherin and Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Gryffindor—" Here Alice puffed up ever-so-slightly— "is all about courage and honor and stuff like that. I mean, sure, I guess that includes boys who like to show off…" She glanced toward Black, who was now attempting to balance a goblet full of water on his head, Potter egging him on. "But my dad always told me that Gryffindor is about helping people who can't defend themselves, doing the right thing when no one else wants to, doing something worthwhile with all the spells the professors cram into us." She grinned. "A lot of Gryffindors go on to be aurors, after all."

Lily frowned. "Aurors?"

"You know, dark wizard hunters. The people who fight to keep the rest of us safe." Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Alice gave an odd little laugh and bit her lip. "I'd like to be an auror, I think. Don't know if I'll make it— you've got to be top-notch, after all— but I can't imagine just doing paperwork for the rest of my life, or… I dunno, working on cauldron regulations or something. If people are getting hurt, I want to be out there protecting them."

_Protecting people?_ Lily thought. _That doesn't sound so bad._

She let her eyes drift around the Great Hall as the last few students stepped forward to be Sorted. Hufflepuff sounded alright, she thought, but she decided that the Sorting Hat had her pegged in that regard: she didn't think she would have been terribly happy there. Perhaps if she had been raised in the magical world, but there was just so much to learn, so much to experience! Magic was so exciting, new and mysterious as it was, and Lily thought her life could stand a bit of adventure every now and then.

It was the same with Ravenclaw. Lily loved learning new things, of course, and she was sure she would be spending much of the coming years in the library, but if Ravenclaws skimmed over the practical side of magic… Well, surely magic couldn't all be learned from books and a few simple spells cast during lessons!

And then there was Slytherin. Watching the faces of the straight-backed students who surrounded Severus at the far table, Lily couldn't help but think that the Slytherins looked like a rather depressing bunch. Where the Gryffindor table was filled with raucous laughter and boisterous conversation, the Hufflepuff with amiable grins and the occasional one-armed hug, and the Ravenclaw with looks of keen interest and good-natured smiles, the Slytherins were comparatively subdued. Many scowled, or else seemed absorbed in their own thoughts, and those who spoke did so in hushed tones as they shot furtive glances around the room.

So maybe Gryffindor _was_ the best House for her. Black and Potter – now sword fighting with their butter knives to the amusement of the surrounding Gryffindors – were idiots, but Alice wasn't so bad. Neither, it turned out, were most of the other Gryffindors. After the Headmaster gave a short welcoming speech and invited them all to eat (the food appearing quite suddenly at his words), Alice launched into a conversation with some older girls sitting nearby, and Lily turned her attention to a pair of her fellow first years across the table – Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

Both boys were quite shy, but refreshingly well-mannered. In fact, Lily doubted it would have been possible to find two boys as unlike Potter and Black. She spent the next hour happily asking all sorts of questions about the wizarding world. Peter, who was a pureblood like Alice, and Remus, a halfblood like Severus, were more than happy to tell her all they could, and she in turn told them about muggle life. Remus seemed fascinated by record players, which he had seen once in the muggle town where he lived, and was eager to know how they put the music inside the records without magic. Not knowing much about record players herself, Lily stumbled through an answer and promised Remus she would ask her parents when she wrote home.

Eventually, the conversation turned to the classes, a subject on which all the first years were equally ignorant. The older students around them obligingly told them all about the professors and the lessons and what they should expect in their first few weeks.

By the end of the feast, Lily was feeling relatively satisfied with her Sorting, Potter and Black notwithstanding, and she and Alice walked side-by-side when the prefects led them up seven flights of stairs to their common room.

-.-.-

Some time later, Lily found herself sitting cross-legged at the end of her exquisite four-poster, a soft red pillow in her lap. Alice lay sprawled beside her, grinning through a yawn as the five first year girls got to know each other.

Greta Catchlove and Tracy Lewis had become fast friends and sat together on the floor, trunks open and belongings strewn about them, comparing jewelry and shoes and the like. Both girls were blonde and excitable, with nearly identical high-pitched giggles that made Alice bury her head under her pillow each time the other girls got giddy over something or other that Lily didn't care to listen to. If not for Greta's rather heavier frame and Tracy's large, thick spectacles, the two could have passed for twins.

Mary Macdonald, on the other hand, was a quiet girl with mousy brown hair pulled up into two pigtails, a toothy smile, and a habit of hiding her face in her hands every time she started to blush. Like Lily, Mary was a muggle-born, and like Lily, she seemed in awe of everything around her, from the chocolate frogs that hopped and croaked like real animals to the Fat Lady, a talking portrait who guarded the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.

For the last several minutes, while Tracy and Greta made a mess of their corner of the dorm, Lily and Mary had taken it in turns to grill Alice about all things magical. Magic, it turned out, was not so simple a subject as muggle storybooks made it out to be.

Quite aside from the different disciplines they would study at Hogwarts (from charms to potions to divination), there were whole other classes of magic that humans couldn't even use. The house elves who did the cooking and cleaning at Hogwarts (and in many wizarding homes); the goblins who ran the wizarding bank Lily and her family had visited with Professor McGonagall to exchange their muggle currency for sickles and galleons; the centaurs Alice claimed lived in the Forbidden Forest on Hogwarts grounds— all of them had their own magic and their own set of rules about what was and wasn't possible.

"There's just so much to learn!" Lily exclaimed when Alice revealed that dragons were very real and that, in fact, there were a number of different breeds. "How can they possibly teach us everything in seven years?"

"Well they don't," Alice said with a chuckle. "Not really. I mean, up till fifth year, when we take our OWLs— Sorry, Ordinary Wizarding Levels; important exams, you see. Up until then, we're only getting a kind of… overview. The stuff they reckon everyone ought to know. We get a bit more after that, but Hogwarts is only just the beginning."

Mary had gone wide-eyed. "Only the beginning? _Then_ what?"

Shrugging, Alice scrunched up her face in thought. "I suppose it depends. Aurors have to do three years of training before they're qualified."

"What sort of training?" Lily asked.

"You know… dueling and stealth and such. Things you need to know to fight dark wizards." Alice picked at a thread on the sleeve of her white pajama shirt. "No point in an herbologist knowing how to curse-break, is there? Why, what do muggles do?"

"Well…" Lily thought for a bit. "I guess secondary school is a bit like Hogwarts. And then after that you've got college."

Mary cocked her head to the side. "Aren't there any magical colleges?"

"Oh, you mean like the University?" Alice asked.

Eyebrows shooting up, Lily leaned forward in anticipation. "_The_ University? What's that?"

"It's where witches and wizards go to learn more about magical theory." Alice shook her head. "I don't really know much about it. I mean, not many people want to go there, and even fewer get accepted."

"How few?" asked Lily.

Alice thought about it. "I think they only accept one or two new members each year. And they hardly ever talk to anyone outside the University about what they do, seeing as it's completely over everyone's head. I mean, lots of people learn about magical theory – cursebreakers, and people who work in Experimental Charms – but that's _regular_ magical theory, and they say at the University you learn about _old_ magic, _deep_ magic. Professor Dumbledore's supposed to have spent a few years there, and he understands magic better than _anyone."_

Lily peppered Alice with questions for a few more minutes, but it was late, and Mary was nodding off, and even Tracy and Greta had piled their things back into their trunks and climbed into bed. Reluctantly, Lily bid her new dormmates goodnight and drew her curtains around her bed. It was a long while after that when she finally drifted off, her mind churning with all the new things she had seen and learned today, a smile on her face as she dreamed about dragons and potions and the University and all that the future had in store.


	2. Year One: Freak

**A/N: I meant to get this up before I started posting Year Two, but life got in the way and my muses weren't cooperating. So sorry it's late, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!**

**Set during Christmas holidays first year, so around chapter 11-12 of _James Potter and the Immortal Icon_.**

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**Freak**

"You aren't going home?"

Lily tried not to let her disappointment show. She knew how much Severus disliked his home. He and his father had never gotten on, and his mother spent most of her time alone in the attic looking through old photo albums and working magic that Lily had never been allowed to see. From the time Lily and Severus had first met, he had hardly spent any time there, except for meals and after dark. She should have known he wouldn't want to return home for Christmas.

And yet the thought that her best friend might choose to pass the holidays at Hogwarts had never even crossed her mind.

Severus grimaced as he added a handful of doxy wings to the potion they were working on. "No," he said cautiously. "I thought you knew."

"I didn't." Lily smoothed back her ponytail. "If I'd known, I…"

"Would've stayed?" Severus asked dubiously as he stirred their potion – six times anticlockwise, then once clockwise. "Really?"

Lily smiled sheepishly as she shook her head. "You know me too well, Sev. It's just that I've never been away from home for so long before, and I—"

"Miss your family." Severus spoke in a resigned tone as he checked the flame beneath their cauldron and sat back to let the potion simmer. "I don't see how on Earth you can miss someone as horrid as your_ sister_."

"Tuney's not horrid!" Lily protested, crossing her arms over her chest.

With a snort, Severus shook his head. "You're still defending her after what she said to you?"

Lily bit her lip. "She didn't mean it," she said in a small voice, avoiding Severus' incredulous gaze as she let her eyes rove around the large, dim dungeon where they had Potions with Professor Slughorn. It was their last lesson before the holidays started, and she and Severus seemed to be the only ones paying attention. Most of the Slytherins were huddled around their cauldrons, speaking in low voices as they made a half-hearted attempt at a hair-thickening potion. On the other side of the room, most of the Gryffindors were ignoring their cauldrons altogether to laugh boisterously and talk in loud voices about their plans for Christmas.

The loudest of the lot were grouped around the back table: James Potter and his friends, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Lily would have felt sorry for Peter, who had to deal with Potter and Black's incessant idiocy, except that ever since he had fallen in with the other two earlier this week, Peter seemed to be smiling more than usual.

_Just as long as he doesn't turn into an annoying prat like them._

Potter and Black seemed to have started a competition of sorts to see which of them could make their potion explode first. They had a wide array of ingredients from the student supply cupboard arranged before them, and were taking turns throwing them in at random. Peter stood nearby, squeaking in fright and guarding his own cauldron against his friends' game.

"Looks like we aren't the only responsible ones, after all," she mused, flashing Peter a sympathetic smile as Black narrowly avoided upending both cauldrons with a flamboyant wave of his wand as he levitated several Salamander scales into his cauldron.

Severus glanced toward the raucous boys and crinkled his nose. "With those two buffoons around, you could light yourself on fire and you'd still look responsible."

Hastily turning forward so Potter and Black wouldn't catch her laughing, Lily reached for her knife to slice the rat spleens for the next step of the potion. When she had reigned in her mirth, Lily caught Severus' eye and smiled sadly. "I'm going to miss you, Sev."

A faint pink hue crept up Severus' neck into his cheeks. "It'll only be two weeks."

"I know." Lily shrugged. "But no one else makes me laugh like you do. I love my family, but they don't understand about magic. You're the only one in Cokeworth I can talk to about Hogwarts and everything." At this thought, Lily's heart sunk. It would be good to see Petunia and her parents again, but without Severus, two weeks in the muggle world would be dreary and lonesome. Her hand shot out to grasp Severus', and the boy jumped, his dark eyes widening. "Write to me every day, Sev, _promise_ you will!"

Severus had to swallow thickly before he could stammer out, "I-I promise. Every day!"

She smiled at him, a dazzling smile that made his cheeks turn pinker, before she returned her attention to the potion. They worked in silence for several minutes, until the potion turned the exact shade of periwinkle the book said it should. Severus poured a sample into a flask, and they took it to Professor Slughorn's desk.

"Superb!" said Professor Slughorn, beaming. "I would expect nothing less from my two best pupils."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, smiling modestly, as Severus mumbled something similar.

Slughorn glanced at his watch. "Well, there's thirty minutes left in the lesson, but as you've completed the potion flawlessly, I see no reason not to let you start your holidays early."

The two smiled gratefully as a small explosion sounded behind them (Lily wondered briefly whether Potter or Black had added the final ingredient, then decided she didn't care), and hurried back to their seats to clean up and gather their things. Then, as the door thudded shut behind them, Severus shyly reached out to touch her hand.

"Lily?" he said softly.

"Yeah, Sev?"

"I'll miss you, too."

-.-.-

"I thought you said you could do magic."

Lily sighed and propped her cheek on her fist as she stared out the window at the snow-covered yard. Her mother had gone shopping, and her father was outside putting up Christmas decorations, which left Lily alone inside with Petunia. They were in the kitchen eating breakfast when Petunia breached the subject Lily knew she'd been dying to talk about since Lily's return home the previous evening.

"I _can_," Lily murmured, pushing her cereal around the bowl.

"Prove it!" Petunia demanded. She had been pacing by the sink, but now threw herself down in the chair opposite Lily and stared intently at her, as though expecting her to burst into flames.

_With those two buffoons around, you could light yourself on fire and you'd still look responsible._

Severus' voice echoed in her head, bringing a smile to Lily's face despite her sister's sour frown. "I'm sorry, Tuney, but I'm not allowed to do magic outside of school without a professor there. And I _told _you Professor McGonagall isn't coming until tomorrow. I can show you what I've learned _then._"

Petunia snorted rather rudely. "You're just making up excuses. I don't think you can do magic at all! I don't think it's real!"

"Of course it's real!" Lily looked up angrily, dropping her spoon into her cereal bowl with a splash that spotted the tabletop with milk.

"I knew it was rubbish," Petunia went on, ignoring Lily's protests. "I knew it all along! I don't know why Mum and Dad sent you off in the first place. What's the point of going to a freak's school if they can't even teach you how to be a freak?"

Lily let out a gasp and shot to her feet, eyes watering. "I'm not a _freak_, Tuney!" Her lip began to tremble, and she blinked furiously to hold back tears. "Why do you have to be so horrid?"

Petunia merely turned her nose up, and Lily streaked from the room, heart aching. She nearly barreled into her father as he stepped through the front door, brushing snow from his coat and calling out a cheerful greeting. Ignoring him, Lily mounted the stairs and ducked into her room, slamming the door behind her with such force that her windows rattled.

_I should have stayed at Hogwarts,_ she thought miserably as she collapsed on her bed and pulled her pillow over her head. _I should have stayed with Sev._

She knew Petunia didn't mean the things she said. How many times had she begged Professor McGonagall to let her go with Lily? How many letters had she sent to the Headmaster asking to come to Hogwarts? She was just jealous and bitter about being a muggle, and she was taking it out on Lily because she knew she couldn't get mad at a fully-grown witch like Professor McGonagall. After seeing McGonagall turn herself into a tabby cat, Petunia was probably afraid the same would happen to her if she made the stern woman angry.

_I wish _I _could turn into a cat_, Lily thought sadly. _Tuney can't call me a freak if she doesn't know it's me._ But Lily had asked Professor McGonagall all about her transformation, so she knew that becoming an animagus like her took years and years of work, and very few wizards could manage it. Lily would probably never even meet another animagus besides her Head of House, let alone become one herself.

Lily didn't know how long she lay on her bed, letting her tears fall on the lilac-colored sheets and staring out the window at the gray skies. Eventually, though, she sat up, found some parchment and her quill, and wrote a letter to Severus. She didn't talk about Petunia or what she said, for she knew that Severus would only despise Petunia all the more because of it, and Lily didn't want there to be a row when she and Severus returned home that summer.

Instead, she wrote about her family's Christmas preparations – the lights her father had hung on the eaves, the tree they would decorate later that same day, the plastic reindeer standing on the roof. The first December Lily had known Severus, she had asked him about reindeer and whether they were real. He had laughed a little, but stopped at once when she began to blush.

_"I've never heard of any magical flying reindeer,"_ he had said kindly, so kindly that Lily began to feel a little less ashamed of her ignorance. _"But there _are_ flying horses."_

_"Have they got wings?"_ Lily had asked eagerly.

Severus had blinked. _"Of course they've got wings. Even with magic, most things still need wings to fly."_

_"How come?"  
_

_"Because... Well, because if they didn't have wings, they'd just kind of float there, like broomsticks or magic carpets when no one's on them to steer. Magic can get you up in the air, but it's not very good at steering__."_

Lily had had questions, so many questions that it took a whole weekend of making snowmen and snow forts and snow angels to exhaust her curiosity. She asked about the flying horses and about other creatures that flew, and when she found out about dragons, she started asking about every other mythical creature she could think of. Giants were real, and werewolves and vampires, and the stories Lily had heard about them weren't too far off, but muggles had garden gnomes and mermaids all wrong. There were fairies and phoenixes and all sorts of different trolls, and not only griffins, but hippogriffs as well, which were like griffins, but with horse parts where the lion should be.

Severus answered all her questions patiently, and when he didn't know about a creature she asked after, he would go home and look through his mother's books so he could tell her the next day what he had found out.

After writing about the reindeer decorations, Lily moved on to her relatives that were coming to town for the New Year and the parties her parents wanted to take her to and her pet rabbit, which she hadn't been allowed to bring to Hogwarts, since they only allowed cats, rats, toads, and owls.

In all, Lily's letter spanned three scrolls of parchment, and she fervently hoped Severus wouldn't mind. She did tend to ramble when she was upset. She had to wait for his owl to come, since she didn't own one of her own and didn't know much about local wizarding shops (when this thought occurred to her, she added on a postscript asking Severus whether he knew of any owl post offices in Cokeworth).

The owl arrived shortly before supper, and Lily eagerly took the package it carried in its talons. As it looked eager to be off, Lily tied her own letter to the owl's leg and sent it on its way before untying the string around the brown paper package. A parcel wrapped in green paper tumbled out onto her bed, along with a letter and a small blue bottle with a picture of a frog on its label.

After frowning at the bottle for a moment, Lily picked up the letter.

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope your holidays are going well so far. I'd say that  
things are quiet here without you, but Black and Potter  
decided to stay, so I'm sure the peace won't last long._

_The Great Hall is amazing, Lily! There are twelve huge  
trees with tinsel and fairies on them, and the house elves  
made us peppermint pudding last night. __I know you missed  
your family, but maybe next year you could stay here. I'm_  
sure you'd love it, so you've got to swear you'll stay with me  
at least once before we graduate, alright?

_Anyway, I wanted to make sure your gift got there in time  
for Christmas, so I'm sending it along with this letter,  
but you can't open it until Christmas! I also sent a bottle  
of frog spawn soap. I don't know if they'll let you show  
your family any magic, but if they don't, you can use  
this. It doesn't count as magic cause you only have to  
add water. It's like regular soap, but instead of bubbles,  
you get tadpoles. I don't know whether they believe you  
about magic and Hogwarts and everything, so you could  
tell them you made it in Potions if you want. They won't  
know any better. And if your sister isn't nice to you, maybe  
you could put some in her shampoo so the next time she  
washes her hair she gets a surprise._

_Miss you loads,_

_Severus_

Laughing, Lily weighed the bottle of frog spawn soap in her hand. She wouldn't put any in Petunia's shampoo; that was just too cruel, and Tuney wouldn't find it very funny. But Severus probably hadn't been serious about that anyway. He liked joking around, but he wasn't overly fond of pranks, and no matter how much he disliked Petunia, he wouldn't actually suggest something like this to get back at her.

But maybe she _would_ show her family. She didn't know how much magic Professor McGonagall would let her do, and anyway she only knew a little bit. She doubted Petunia would be impressed by Lily turning a match into a needle or making a feather float. Maybe once Professor McGonagall left, she would show them the frog spawn soap…

There was a knock at her door, and Petunia walked in. "Mum says it's time for supper," she said stiffly. Her eyes found the bottle in Lily's hand and she frowned. "What's that?"

"Oh, er…" Lily glanced at Severus' letter. "It's something I made in my Potions class. It's called frog spawn soap."

"_Frog spawn!_" Petunia shrieked, looking green. "I should have known. I'll bet all you freaks walk around with frog spawn in your pockets, don't you?"

Lily stiffened. "Tuney… It's just for fun! It's a joke!"

But Petunia had already fled the room.

-.-.-

The next evening, when Professor McGonagall came to talk to the Evans family about what Lily had learned so far at Hogwarts, as she did for every muggle-born, the sisters sat on opposite sides of the couch, staring sullenly at each other. Petunia had tried to retreat to her room so she didn't have to watch the "freak show," but Mrs. Evans had told her to sit down and see what Lily wanted to show them.

Professor talked for a few minutes about flying lessons and Potions and Herbology, which Lily couldn't demonstrate without a broomstick, a potions lab, and a greenhouse, respectively. She explained Astronomy and History of Magic and Defense, which had consisted mostly of lectures rather than practical application, and told Lily's family that they could ask her about what she had learned in those classes; Lily had brought home her school books, as well. Then came Transfigurations and Charms, at which point Professor McGonagall told Lily she could perform a few simple spells for her family.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans looked on in fascination as Lily transfigured a thimble into a bluebell blossom. It was the most complicated bit of transfiguration Lily had learned, and her parents seemed elated by the small feat, but Lily had eyes only for her sister. Petunia glanced briefly at the small indigo flower before turning away, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips carved into a frown.

Determined to impress her sister, Lily levitated a log from the pile by the hearth into the fireplace and lit it on fire. Mrs. Evans actually applauded this show, Mr. Evans pulled Lily into a tight embrace, and for a moment, Lily let the pride well up in her like the fire now roaring a few feet away.

A chair scraped against tile, and Lily caught the tips of Petunia's long blond hair disappearing down the corridor. A dull ache settled in Lily's chest. She forced a smile as Professor McGonagall informed Mr. and Mrs. Evans that their daughter was top of her year, and that all the professors spoke highly of her. Eventually, Professor McGonagall left, and Lily tried to act grateful as her mother planned out a special celebratory dinner for the following evening with all of Lily's favorite foods. As soon as she got a chance, Lily slipped away.

There was no answer when she knocked on Petunia's door, but Lily didn't let that deter her. Crouching down, she slipped her transfigured bluebell through the gap at the bottom of the door.

"I made it for you, you know," she said softly, unsure if Petunia could hear her. "I know bluebells are your favorite."

There was a long moment of silence and then, as Lily reluctantly turned away, the door flew open. Petunia stood there, eyes rimmed with red and cheeks streaked with pink, as though she had been crying. She looked down at the delicate flower on the gleaming hardwood floor, then up at Lily, who offered a tentative smile. Then, after a moment of deliberation, Petunia brought her heel down on the bloom.

Lily flinched.

"That's not my favorite flower," Petunia snapped.

"Yes it is… You told me so when we went to that park last year."

Petunia sniffed haughtily. "Obviously you weren't listening. My favorite flower is a… It's a daffodil."

"You said daffodils look like ducks," Lily argued, anger rising. "And they make you sneeze."

"At least they don't look stupid like bluebells."

Lily scrambled to find a retort, something clever and cutting that would hurt Petunia like she was hurting Lily, but tears burned her eyes and her mind had gone blank. Gulping in deep, steadying breaths, Lily turned and ran into her room, closing the door behind her and sinking to the floor. The sun was setting, the shadows in her room lengthening, but Lily didn't bother to turn on a light. She let the darkness deepen as she cried silently into her knees, wishing desperately for some way to make her sister love her like she once had.

She heard Petunia moving around for a while before her light clicked off, and some time after that, Mr. and Mrs. Evans' footsteps climbed the stairs and faded into their bedroom. Then the house grew still and silent, and the only light came from the street lamps and the crescent moon riding high in the sky.

Still Lily sat huddled against her door, feeling miserable and longing to talk to Severus about everything that had gone wrong. She'd hardly been home for three days, and already she wanted to go back to Hogwarts.

It was after midnight when Lily finally stood and changed into her pajamas. As she crossed to her bed, her eyes fell on the small green package on her desk – Severus' present. He'd said not to open it until Christmas, but Christmas was still half a week away, and Lily needed something to cheer her up _now._

Switching on her desk lamp, Lily settled down cross-legged on her bed, the present in one hand and a fat, round pillow in the crook of her arm. She worried her lip for a long while and then, steeling her nerve, she untied the bit of twine that held the wrappings together. A length of silver chain fell out into her lap, followed by a folded note.

_I almost got you a lily,_ the note read in Severus' cramped script, _but I thought you'd like this better. Happy Christmas, Lily. –Severus  
_

With a teary smile, Lily picked up the necklace and fingered the delicate pink charm: a lotus blossom. Her favorite flower. All of Lily's muggle friends thought she liked lilies best, because of her name, and even her parents usually bought her lily-themed birthday presents. Petunia had never even bothered to ask what Lily's favorite flower was.

But Severus knew. He knew everything about her, from her favorite color (purple) to her fear of slugs. He knew the things she was too embarrassed to tell anyone else, like how she sometimes danced with her pet rabbit like he was a prince from a fairytale. Anyone else would have laughed, but Severus didn't care; he liked her just the way she was.

Lily closed her fingers around the necklace as a tear slipped down her cheek. She smiled into the night, hoping her best friend could feel how much she appreciated his gift. "It's perfect, Sev," she whispered. "Happy Christmas."


	3. Year Two: The New Professor

**A/N: Set during chapter 6 of _James Potter and the Shrieking Shack_.**

* * *

**The New Professor**

"Can you _believe _him?" Tracy Lewis moaned, flopping dramatically backward onto her bed, her long blonde hair splayed out beneath her, her spectacles sitting crooked on her small nose.

Greta Catchlove nodded emphatically, her golden curls bouncing around her round face. "Ugh, I _know_! He's _awful_!"

It was Tuesday afternoon, and the second year Gryffindors had just returned from their first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson of term. The whole class had spent the ten minute walk to Gryffindor Tower griping about Lynx, their new professor, and the spells he had decided to teach them, which included _Protego_, a shield spell that Remus Lupin said was normally part of the fourth year curriculum. It wasn't the first time Lily had lost her temper during class (although usually, it was Potter and Black who set her off, not the professor), but she liked to think she was a cheery person, on the whole, and she didn't like staying mad. Even on the worst days, she only needed to rant about Potter and Black for five minutes before she was ready to let it go.

But today, Lily found herself in no mood to move on.

"How are we supposed to last a whole year with him?" she demanded, dropping her schoolbag at the foot of her bed. "Honestly! If he _starts _with fourth year spells, what do you suppose we'll be doing in May?"

Greta crinkled her nose as she joined Tracy on her bed with the latest issue of _Teen Witch Magazine_. "Cor, Lily, we've only just started school! Let's not think about exams yet!"

"She's right, though," Alice Howard said, untucking her blouse as she kicked off her shoes. "It'll only get harder from here."

"You really think so?" Mary Macdonald had been sitting quietly on her bed practicing the wand movement for _Expelliarmus_, another spell Lynx had taught them that day. At Alice's words, however, Mary's face fell. "And I didn't even get past the _easy_ spells…"

Despite her anger, Lily managed a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Mary. I'll help you out with those."

"And then we'll all be stymied together," Alice said cheerfully, twirling her wand.

"We aren't _stymied_," Lily argued. "I, for one, plan to master every last spell he throws our way."

Tracy looked up from her magazine with a grimace. "You are _such_ a teacher's pet, Lily."

Greta giggled into her hand.

Face flaming, Lily fell silent, but Alice scowled at the blondes across the room. "Oh, sod off, you two," she snapped before sitting down beside Lily and giving her a playful nudge. "Don't listen to them, Lily. Any witch worth her salt can produce a shield! Just because they don't think they can manage it…"

Lily smiled gratefully at her. "It really is a useful spell," she said tentatively. "Lynx was right about that much."

"Exactly!" Alice cried. "And at any rate, I'll be laughed right out of the Auror Department if I can't master it. You and me, Lily! We'll show Lynx what-for!"

"Yeah!" Lily sat up a little straighter, her confidence returning. "We'll practice loads— you, too, Mary, if you'd like— and I'll bet Remus would join in as well! And then we'll master this spell, and Potter and Black won't even know what hit them!"

Laughing, Alice gave Lily a questioning look. "What have James and Sirius got to do with this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Lily asked with a huff. "Those two are treating this whole thing like a game. They don't even care that they can't do it." A muffled crash and a shout of laughter drifted up the stairs from the common room, and Lily rolled her eyes, wondering what the idiots were getting up to _now._ "They probably won't even bother to _try_."

"So?" Mary asked, frowning.

Alice raised her eyebrow. "If they want to fail, that's their problem."

"I know that!" Lily rolled her eyes. "But you heard Potter today! He thinks I'm just whining about having a hard time. I'm going to show him that I _can_ cast this spell, and then he won't be able to make fun of me anymore."

Alice and Mary exchanged bemused glances over Lily's head. Huffing, Lily glared at the two of them, causing Mary to drop her gaze and Alice to laugh.

"Whatever makes you happy, Lily."

-.-.-

Despite her best efforts, Lily was not able to master the Shield Charm by their next class, on Friday, but with her help, Mary was able to master _Expelliarmus_ and _Locomotor Mortis_, the other two spells Lynx had taught them. Thursday's Astronomy class at midnight didn't help matters any, as it only made everyone tired and crabby the next day.

As the class set to work, Lily saw that James Potter and Sirius Black were having no more luck with their shields than on Tuesday. Lily smugly conjured a small, round barrier the size of a dinner plate that, although nowhere near the spherical shield Lynx had demonstrated, was far more impressive than Potter's feeble white smoke.

Potter and Black, unfortunately, were too busy hexing each other under the pretense of "testing their shields" – much to Lynx's irritation – to notice Lily's progress. But Remus noticed, and gave her a shy smile.

"That's really good," he murmured, while Lynx shouted at Potter and Black to grow up and start taking the lesson seriously. Black made a rather pathetic joke, and though Potter laughed at it, Lynx only shouted louder. Several other students shot irritated glares toward the disruption.

"Thanks," Lily said, returning Remus' smile. "How's yours coming along?"

Remus shrugged. "Alright. _Protego_." The shield Remus raised was slightly larger than what Lily had managed, and looked strong enough to potentially stop a jinx, whereas Lily was fairly certain spells would have no problem passing through hers.

"Alright?" Lily cried, laughing. "Remus, that's amazing!"

Flushing, Remus shook his head. "It's really not much more than what you've done," he said. "I know I've still got a lot of work to do."

"We all have," Lily pointed out. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you if you wanted to practice with us— with Alice and Mary and I, that is. We've formed a sort of study group in our room, but I'm sure we could practice in the common room just as well. It's not as boring if you've got someone practicing with you, and…" She glanced over to Potter and Black, who seemed to be asking Lynx whether they could hex him to see how a shield was supposed to work. "I can't imagine _those_ two have been practicing much since Tuesday."

Remus laughed. "No, I can't say they have." He shook his head fondly as Lynx threatened to send Potter and Black to the Headmaster's office. "A study group sounds like a wonderful idea."

Lily, who was far less amused than Remus by the antics of his idiot friends, did her best to ignore them. "Great. We'll meet in the common room after dinner, alright?"

"Sure. See you then."

-.-.-

"A study group?" James Potter asked with a frown. "I don't know, Remus…"

Sirius Black nodded solemnly. "Yeah, after all, Lynx said it's not a class, and he's not a teacher."

"How can you _study_ if it's not a _class_?" Potter concluded in his irritatingly smug voice, as though he'd just figured out a sphinx's riddle.

Lily rolled her eyes and gestured for Remus to join her and the rest of the study group, which had grown to include most of their year. Even Greta and Tracy had joined in, hoping to master the Shield Charm before Tuesday so they wouldn't have to go to evening training sessions with Lynx. In fact, Potter and Black were the only second years who _weren't_ joining in. Remus had invited them so they wouldn't feel left out, but they simply refused to act their age.

Shrugging, Remus rejoined the group and continued working on his shield, which had grown steadily over the course of the evening and now covered nearly his whole torso. A moment later, Lily spotted Potter and Black huddled in a corner, casting _Protego_ in carrying voices.

"I don't believe them!" she huffed, glaring at the pair of idiots.

Remus just laughed. "That's James and Sirius for you."

Lily flicked her wand irritably and muttered, "_Protego_," for the thousandth time. A watery shield as long as her forearm sprang into being and quickly dissolved. "They're so immature. I don't know how you put up with them, Remus."

"They aren't so bad," Remus said. "Once you get used to them."

"Right…"

The evening wore on, and one by one, the second years trickled away – starting with Greta, who screamed in frustration and hurled her wand across the room. Tracy left shortly thereafter, pausing only to retrieve Greta's wand. Alice and Frank lasted well into the night, but eventually, even they gave up.

"You want to turn in?" Remus asked, pausing to rub his eyes.

Lily shook her head. "I want to give it a few more goes."

"_Protego!_"

Lily jumped and turned toward the voice. She hadn't realized anyone else was still there; even the older students working on homework had disappeared up the stairs. But across the room, in a dark corner by the fire, stood Potter and Black, still grinning and quietly hexing each other. To Lily's chagrin, Potter's last shield had weakened Black's disarming spell enough that he managed to keep a hold of his wand.

Sirius whistled. "Nice one, James!"

"I am pretty awesome, aren't I?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Both she and Remus had achieved a similar feat over an hour ago, and they both realized that it wasn't anything to brag about. Lynx wanted them to deflect a spell, not make it slightly weaker, and their shields still weren't nearly as large as they were supposed to be.

Yawning, Potter shoved his wand into the waistband of his trousers. "Well, I think that's enough for one night. C'mon, Pete." He nudged Peter Pettigrew, who lay curled up on the sofa, snoring softly.

"You coming, Rems?" Black called.

Remus shook his head. "You go on. I'll be up in a bit."

"You've done plenty, mate," Potter said. "No need to stay up to all hours of the night for something as boring as this."

Lily scowled. "Just because you two don't care—"

"I care!" Potter protested, crossing his arms over his chest. "But it's midnight, and I've got tryouts tomorrow."

"And I need my beauty sleep," Black added, snickering.

Peter grunted something indistinct.

"Whatever." Lily turned away and stubbornly resumed her practicing. _James Potter, caring about lessons? Not in this life._ In reality, Potter probably only stayed up hoping that Lily would go to bed so he could sneak out and do something stupid.

Thankfully, the other boys gave up without further comment and trudged from the room, leaving Lily alone with Remus for the first time in months. She hadn't seen him all summer, and he'd spent most of the end of first year with his dormmates. Lily hadn't realized how much she'd missed him.

"How was your summer, Remus?" she asked, watching as her shield melted away.

Remus waved his wand. "_Protego_. Fine."

"Sorry I didn't write."

"What?" Remus turned around, surprised, and his shield flickered out of existence.

"This summer," Lily clarified. "I wanted to write to you, but I realized I never got your address, and I… Well, I don't really know how owl post works, or whether there's some sort of wizarding directory I could use." She gave him an apologetic smile. "I should have remembered to ask you."

Blinking, Remus shook his head. "N-no, it's alright. I didn't think of it either… We can't af—I-I mean, I don't get much post, so we don't really need an owl—" A faint blush crept up Remus' neck, but Lily pretended not to notice. She knew Remus' family wasn't very rich, and that he was embarrassed by this fact, but she didn't think it was anything to be ashamed of. Neither she nor Severus came from rich families – unlike Potter and Black, who were obviously spoiled rotten at home.

"The muggle postman doesn't come all the way out to our house, either," Remus went on, averting his eyes. "We've got a postal box in town, though, and Mum checks it every couple of days. I'll give you the address if you'd like, but I probably won't write much anyway."

"That's alright," Lily said. "At least I'd get to talk to you occasionally."

The accusation in this statement didn't pass Remus by, and the boy slowly lowered his wand. "What do you mean?" he asked innocently, though Lily noticed he wasn't looking at her. "We talk all the time."

"Not lately," Lily countered, abandoning all pretense of practicing. "Not since you started hanging out with those idiot boys."

"They aren't idiots," Remus muttered.

Sighing, Lily tucked her wand behind her ear and reached out to grab Remus' hand. "I'm sorry, Remus. I shouldn't say things like that about your friends." _Although sometimes I think we aren't even talking about the same people._ "I just miss always having you around."

"R-really?" Remus stared at her oddly. "But you've got other friends— Severus, and Alice, and the other girls."

"So?"

"So…" Remus hesitated. "What do you need me for?"

Rolling her eyes, Lily swatted the back of Remus' head. "Don't be thick, Remus. I can't just replace you with— with _Tracy_ or someone!" She paused to eye him suspiciously. "Why, you haven't replaced me with Potter, have you?"

"Of course not," Remus said, squirming. "He isn't nearly as bright as you are, or as—" He broke off abruptly, flushing— "er— a-as mature as you."

"Well, good! I know your other friends and I don't get along, but I hope that doesn't mean we can't do things together." She thought of Severus, and how all her Gryffindor friends thought she was crazy for even speaking to him. "I know it's hard, Remus, but they can't tell you who to be friends with."

"I know…" Remus managed a weak smile. "James and Sirius always have something going on is all. It's hard not to get caught up in whatever they're doing."

Lily snorted. "Yeah, they usually managed to drag the whole _school_ into their little plots."

Laughing, Remus shook his head. "Well, that's not exactly what I meant…" He shrugged. "But they know that if I'm doing homework in the library, they should leave me be. We could study together there without worrying about them bothering us." He looked so uncertain that Lily smiled and gave him a quick hug.

"That would be great," she said sincerely, even as a yawn overtook her. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was nearly twelve thirty. "I guess we _should_ be getting to bed..."

"I guess," Remus agreed, sounding just as reluctant as Lily.

"See you tomorrow then?"

Remus smiled. "Yeah. G'night, Lily."

"Night, Remus."


	4. Year Two: Friends Like Them

**A/N: Set during chapter 18 of _James Potter and the Shrieking Shack._**

* * *

**Friends Like Them**

"Is it true?" Lily asked guiltily, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. She really shouldn't be gossiping about this, but her curiosity had become too much to hold in. After an hour of silent study in a remote corner of the library, disrupted only once to send Peter away, despite Remus' hushed assurances that _he_ wasn't the problem (which told Lily that there was, in fact, a problem), Lily was ready for some answers.

Remus didn't look up from his notes. "Is what true?"

"Potter and Black. Did they really sneak out to the Forbidden Forest?"

Still Remus' eyes remained on the parchment before him, although his quill had stopped moving. "Yes."

Lily's eyes widened. "Are they mad?" she hissed. "With all the attacks? With all the rumors?"

"I think it was _because_ of the rumors, actually." He sounded casual, but something Lily could not identify flickered in his eyes.

"Oh, of course." Huffing, Lily crossed her arms. "I suppose they thought it would make them stars of the school if they saw the monster for themselves?" Remus didn't answer. "I don't believe them!" she muttered, voice threatening to rise in volume as well as pitch, but a sharp glance from Madam Pince curtailed her outburst. "Stupid _boys_, always needing to prove themselves."

Remus opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and began writing once more.

"Honestly, they're lucky to be alive," Lily went on, squeezing her quill so tightly in her fist that she felt the shaft beginning to crack. "And you went to Professor McGonagall?"

Grimacing, Remus nodded.

"Of course you did, and now they're treating you like rubbish because of it." Lily scowled, quill twitching as she thought of giving Potter and Black the hexing they deserved. "But if you didn't go to Professor McGonagall when you did, they'd probably be dead, so they've hardly got a right to grouse about a couple of detentions— which they fully deserve, by the way. They earned those themselves, and it's completely foul of them to try and pin it on you!"

"It _was_ kind of my fault they were caught," Remus pointed out fairly.

Lily snorted in a very un-ladylike manner. "Caught by the _professors_, instead of some madman who would have killed them!" she said bitingly. "Listen, Remus, they're a couple of pillocks with no respect for the rules _or_ their own safety. If they're going to be upset about this, then you should just give up on them and find some better friends!" _Like me_, she thought bitterly. Honestly! She would never understand why someone as sweet as Remus would choose those _boys_ over her!

Remus looked taken aback. "I can't do that!" he cried, loud enough that several students turned in their seats to look at them and Madam Pince shushed him viciously. Remus flushed crimson. "I can't just give up on them," he hissed. "They're my… my friends."

"Some friends!" Lily spat, and several more eyes drifted their way. "They pick fights with anyone who looks at them wrong, they spend every other night in detention for their idiotic stunts, they drag you along on their so-called adventures so you have to get up early to finish your homework, and they _insist_ on putting their lives in danger— for what? To feed their oversized egos?"

She was shouting now, her face hot with anger, a few strands of hair flying loose around her face. Madam Pince had given up on shushing the pair and now stood to cross the library. Everyone else had stopped studying to watch the row, many of them standing and edging around the bookshelves for a better view. Lily could hear the murmurs filling the library.

She ignored them all. "Just admit it! James Potter and Sirius Black are arrogant, self-centered _toerags_ who refuse to accept responsibility for their own stupid actions. They don't care one bit about you, Remus! They never will!"

"That's not true," Remus whispered, paling. "It's not…"

"Yes, it is!" Lily retorted, never mind that Madam Pince was trying to interject. Lily's thoughts turned unbidden to her primary school friends, two young girls who had stayed over at her house for her eighth birthday and braided each other's hair late at night when they should have been sleeping.

Within a year, they'd moved on, and Lily had found herself alone. Just as Remus had found himself alone, now that Potter and Black had shown their true colors. Lily only wished Remus would let her help him.

"You think you're their friend?" she demanded venomously. "You think they're going to remember you a couple of years from now, when they're surrounded by adoring fans and you're just a lowly little bookworm? Because they're not! Best get over them before they toss you aside like – like – like dirty socks!"

Remus blanched. "Th-they wouldn't…"

"Oh, yes they would! They didn't care about you enough to stay out of the Forest, did they? If they want to run off and get themselves killed— let them. You don't need to get caught up in that."

"_Let them_?" Remus snarled, anger suffusing his formerly pale face. He rose in one swift motion, glaring at Lily across the table. "_Let them_ die? They're my friends, Lily! I'm not just going to let them _die_!"

Lily scoffed. "Oh, come _off_ it, Remus! Black and Potter are a couple of pig-headed, reckless, overstuffed _peacocks_ who haven't even got enough sense to avoid the one place at Hogwarts where we _know_ there are dangerous creatures. _And_," she went on as Remus bent to retrieve his school bag, "they do it to get a look at a ruddy madman! I'll bet it was all some sort of a dare!"

"You're right," Remus shot back venomously, flinging his bag down onto the table. "It was a dare, Lily. _Your_ friend dared them to meet him in the Forest that night."

Lily gasped. "_What?_ Sev would never do something like that!"

"Keep your voices _down!_" Madam Pince demanded. "This is a lib—"

"Oh, but he did." Remus' eyes had narrowed to slits that gleamed an eerie gold in the lamplight. "Don't go criticizing me for my choice in friends, Lily, because Snape is no saint. If you want to scold someone, how about you start with him? At least _my friends_ were brave enough show up."

"Really now!" Madam Pince said huffily. "You're disturbing—"

"BRAVE ENOUGH!" Lily roared, slamming her open palm down on the table with a _smack_ that made several of the watching students jump. "_Brave_ enough? How about _stupid _enough? How about _stark raving mad _enough to show up in the Forbidden Forest in the _middle of the night? _What are they going to do next, you reckon? Jump off the Astronomy Tower because Gilderoy said it was _fun_?"

"James and Sirius aren't stupid!" Remus cried. "And they aren't mad, either!"

Lily laughed incredulously. "Why are you defending them?"

"_Because they're my friends!_" Remus snapped.

"QUIET!" Madam Pince roared, red sparks erupting from the tip of her wand. At once, silence descended on the library as both Remus and Lily whirled to face the librarian. "OUT!" she shouted. "Both of you— out!"

Remus didn't need telling twice. With one glance at the crowd of students gathered around them, gaping at the pair and whispering among themselves, Remus swept his homework and books into his bag. Studiously avoiding the curious stares, face a brilliant shade of crimson, he turned and fled.

Lily watched him go. _Stupid boys!_ she thought, putting her things away mechanically as Madam Pince continued to glare at her. Lily glared right back. _Why do they all have to be so _difficult_?_

And Remus _was_ just being difficult; simply denying the truth that was plain for everyone else to see. Potter and Black were rotten friends, and the longer Remus clung to them, the more it would hurt when he was finally forced to accept the truth. And he _would_ accept the truth, eventually, and when that time came, Lily vowed to be there for him. _She_ was the friend Remus needed, whether he realized it or not.


End file.
